Melee Update Summer 2018

So there's been a lot of uncertainties since my `retirement` and I haven't done one of these in awhile; so let's kill two birds with one stone I guess. To quickly summarise why I stopped playing, it was mainly due to: stress, mental health issues, and a massive increase in challenges. The larger challenges would be settings larger goals for myself, I realised that right after being accepted to the Genesis 5 compendium that things weren't going to be easy for me. I then vanished.

So why am I here again? I don't know really. I wanted to come back to the community to see old friends and potentially fill a place that would be a bit different - like a coach or a tournament organiser. Now I've been drawn into playing and competing again, however without deliberately practising and preparing like I did before. This isn't as stressful, but it feels like a waste of time - if I'm not playing at 100% (even though it's fun), what's the point?

I went to the most recent Bailrigg, mainly as a chill out event to hang out with people. Then suddenly Prof and Frenzy signed up and I felt a weight on my shoulders:

"I don't want to have to try. If I don't try then I'll look bad".  Stupid things like that.

Me when being
 asked to go to a tourney

I was put in an uncomfortable, but familiar position where I had to actually compete. Sure, this is a choice, but like I said I don't like to do things half-assed. Along with this I was recently funded for Heir and this also got me thinking. What do I even play at the event? When I thought about playing other characters or just turning up hungover (LOL), it just didn't sit right with my competitive nature (yet again). So this means I will be playing Fox at Heir and try to be competitive; minus all the preparation like I usually do. Don't count me on this though, things can change and if I'm choosing not to compete that's a good sign in my books.

I hope this will be the last event I go to again for awhile and I'll try not to disappear after this one, as I very much need to focus on myself. I have let myself fall back in too easily, relapse if you will haha. It is sort of like an addiction when I think about it. It's incredibly annoying that 6 months away has not gained me much progress with myself, but my family seems to think I have so I can hold that.

Ideally, I can get better then eventually come back and hit my proper lifetime Melee goal. 42nd on the Heir rankings was good, but MIOM top 100 would leave me satisfied enough to properly retire.

Until next time, - Tmuff 

I Love Losing

Within the Melee community, relating winning with positivity and losing with negativity is commonplace. Winning in some form is the justification of your work and is essentially a direct reward for those actions. Losing on the other hand is a failure to adhere to your goals and wishes. This is a huge problem I see with a lot of players, especially with those on the cusp of reaching a higher level. The way in which most of us perceive winning and losing is the problem, it’s common to see things in a binary fashion; you work your way through a tournament bracket - you either lose or you win - achievement or failure. However, just like a tournament bracket there are many details which are glossed over and these elements are important.

Melee is traditionally 1v1, with the obvious exception of doubles. The only factor in your success is you - there isn’t any luck or chance involved really. I’ve been playing some League of Legends recently and in that game, my previous statement is quite in the contrary. If you’ve been living under a rock, or just don’t play that many titles other than our beloved Melee for the Nintendo Gamecube then you may not be aware that League is a team game. In team games there are more factors than just yourself - there’s the obvious 4 others on your team and 5 others on the enemy - matchmaking plays a part in the way it defines your skill level also. You are still a commonality in these games and you have an influence in how you will climb upwards the ladder, but luck is a factor in this case. Because of this, it’s impossible to win every game as that’s the nature of the system. Some games you get an inting team-mate (intentionally feeding), someones first time on the champion in ranked (for some reason), or maybe the odds are in your favour and a high elo smurf has graced you with his presence.

My point here being that despite looking to improve in a game with luck based factors; you can only perform with the cards that you have been dealt. Why focus on the outcome of the performance when the important details are hidden between the cracks? The outcome only tells some of the story and yes, it is actually useful to draw conclusions from, but it’s not the epitome. In fact in Melee, the cards you have been dealt are more defined by you than the dealer. In my opinion, what the majority of Melee players relate positivity and negativity with I consider quite the opposite. Consider the grey areas; the details.

"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand" - Randy Pausch

Motivation/Goals/Drive

I am lying here at 3AM after a long exhausting day of competing, unable to sleep for whatever reason. I've decided to (instead of tossing and turning) sip on some coffee, listen to some comfortable music and write out my thoughts regarding motivations, goals and drive. Usual disclaimer that these are just my personal experiences and you're free to interpret it differently.

So a good place to begin would be: "What made you wonder about such topics in the first place?".

For many of us who play competitive Melee, these topics will have crossed paths with our thought process at some point. It's quite natural to wonder what exactly it is that pushes you. Lately my urge to practice and perform in tournament has been very lackluster, even just to want to play the game for enjoyment purposes. So such a change in behaviour for quite a period of time has caused me to ask these sorts of questions. One of my main drives I feel should be the enjoyment I take in pursuing higher peaks of improvement in both the game and myself. But that just doesn't appear to be there from what I can see currently.

The problem is that I say 'should be'. Is that really what I feel, or what I would like to be? I think my goals/drive/motivations whatever you want to call it actually lie in a selfish potentially egotistical way. I think the old days when people would say I was overrated etc was what had me riled up the most. I believe I want to maintain a self-image almost like a pedestal (basically a ranking) which I can show off. This is something I actually hate that I'm like, but have come to accept for the moment as it will be necessary for growth in my opinion. The real conclusion here is whether or not this is a healthy motivation to utilise or whether it will cause me to crash under my own pride.

I think getting opinions from others and doing some research on the subject would help me find the answers I'm looking for. I feel this is the sort of introspective process you have to do in order to jump over hurdles and it won't be easy to find.

The only other thing I can think of adding would be perhaps my 'settling' as it were with my current skill level. Heir was a big event for me and a lot of preparation went into achieving the goals I set for myself - and I achieved those goals and managed to go a little further. So perhaps there's some stage here were I need to reset myself, or that placing was enough to prove myself.

I'm glad to be able to actually write out some thoughts, because it means I can set out some points to research and see if it applies to my thinking. I would appreciate any opinions that any of you may have which could point me in the direction; or even if you would like to share your own experience that would be cool.

Until next time,

Peace - Tmuff

Melee Thoughts: Over-Thinking, Feelings, Improvement

So this might turn out to be a bit of a ramble, but hey-ho. I've been wanting to get some of my thoughts in regards to Melee out on paper a bit better, as they've been very overwhelming as of recent and I feel this might be a good way to suppress/answer them. (sorry if this just becomes a vent)

Me_IRL

The first thing I'd like to get down would be over-thinking when playing. This would be over-analysing situations down to the micro, which could include any number of emotional responses; which in turn take a serious toll on my mental state and focus. My brain likes to get very ahead of itself, so far ahead it feels like my hands can't keep up. In my daily life this is a pretty regular thing for me to do and is something I have trouble dealing with, so this is probably an example of exterior problems affecting the game. 

Ego is still a huge burden for me and is most likely linked to what I just previously described. My description of it isn't necessarily 'I just think I'm better than I am', but I have high expectations - sometimes appointed by myself and other times the pressure of it by others. These feelings or whatever you want to call them spill over into Melee very easily and can cause a lot of distress for me. A neutral win can be an emotional blow because of the perspective I hold it at; I get angry that I'm not living up to the expectations basically, but I guess one mistake or losing to someone you don't normally, shouldn't really be a factor. Anger also piles onto the already large stack of issues, which causes self-confidence problems - because you lashed out at a video game you lose respect for yourself. It does all link together, it makes me think that the work I'm putting in isn't good enough.

I've been trying to find new ways to improve and they've all been pretty much unsuccessful. I tried a pretty difficult schedule which eventually just lead to burn-out with me feeling like I learned nothing. I've tried some match analysis which just feels like I'm doing it for the sake of it, again feeling like I learned nothing. Time spent does not equal time well spent, but how do I figure out what I need to improve. Maybe I am improving steadily, perhaps even hugely? I need to know how I'm doing in order to stay motivated, and if I can't see little improvements then I'm in a slump. I also can't see improvements if I'm not confident in what I want to improve.

The pressure of my sponsor and upcoming tournaments stop me from wanting to take a break of any kind, and encourage me to push on despite the difficulties. Not that I could if I wanted too I'm physically incapable of being able to stop playing Melee at this point. I'm not very confident it would have an affect in the long-term anyway.

So I guess I should send this off with some ideas I have to counter this stuff. I have no idea lol. This is the hardest hurdle/plateau I've ever had and I'm gonna have to have a serious think about this one. I feel writing this out is a good first step and will hopefully point my dumb ass brain in the right direction.

Melee Mindset: Staying Humble and Hungry

I've decided to write another blog post as I've been having a tough time dealing with under-performing. This has been causing an adverse affect on my overall mood for the past week or so and also therefore my level of playing. I thought it would be interesting to write about it as it was happening, for several reasons, but the main one being so I have something to look back too; as this isn't the first time my mind has walked down this road.

This brings up another point I would like to discuss before I get into the meat of this. Why are habits we find in-game so different to habits we find outside of it? A Marth gets you into knockdown; he waits, you get up and spot-dodge thinking he's going to grab you - but because he was waiting he waits out the spot-dodge and grabs you anyway. It's a really common habit among newer players, but eventually once you get past that level the habit doesn't appear as much as it previously did and therefore you've grown. But what I don't understand  is when your mind learns there's no reason to be nervous... you still get nervous in very similar situations? The underlying question behind all this is:

 "What is required to keep mindset in check?".

Is it an ever-changing dilemma where you have to constantly be aware of the many factors, or am I overthinking it? Maybe I've just not progressed far enough in my personal mindset journey and what I consider to be habits are far more ingrained in myself; unlike that of a situation in Melee. Anyway, onto the main topic I would like to discuss.

For those of you that aren't aware, last weekend I was in Coventry for a regional called Smashbox, which featured: Melee Singles, Doubles and Project:M Singles. I placed pretty decently: 2nd in PM, Doubles and 5th in Singles. This was pretty much a predicted performance - I even took a set off Overtriforce in PM and almost the whole tournament, but what bothered me was the difference in my play when things got tough.

I 3-1'd the Sheik main Over in our Winner's Finals set pretty convincingly. The first game I was on the verge of being 4 stocked, but I brought it all the way back to last stock last hit, and proceeded to make adaptions that would win me the rest of the set. Yet in our Grand Finals sets, I gave up one of the games to switch characters when I was getting destroyed. I don't know how I went from being so determined to being so desperate.

There was quite a time change between these sets as I had played some close Melee sets where I was also playing incredibly nervously - in match-ups I should be confident in no less. It almost feels like at any random time my nerves can get the better of me, which is what makes it so hard to factorise.

I've had this feeling quite an amount of times, but it didn't hit me as hard as this one. I had under-performed and I couldn't decipher exactly why. It's interesting because it wasn't that it drove me to throwing my controller or something or being super salty, which is the positive thing about it - because it's shown how much my mindset has improved as these were feelings I used to have. 

The tournament had given me a culmination of both overall good and bad feelings to sit in my head for the travel back home to Scotland. I know I could've performed better, but I also didn't so my ego is currently questioning itself. This is where being humble and hungry comes into this.

If I know what I'm capable of realistically, then if this roadblock in mindset is what caused me to under-perform then I shouldn't care if I'm humble - but I'm not. I saw victory give out it's hand for me to take, but I wasn't able to take it; I know I was capable, but I fucked up basically. I won a set against Over whom I respect as very skilled, and saw I was capable of taking the other two sets, I took a game off of Dev and saw I was capable of taking the set. This is what has raised my ego, well one of the main things that has anyway. This has caused a raise in my expectations of myself and also a change in my level of ignorance. Just like the way I don't give emotional reactions to things that happen in game, I shouldn't give emotional reaction to wins or losses; as they don't help me reach my goal.

The goal is to be the best. Being realistic and understanding that I always need to keep working and that a win is not a break will help me reach that goal - I have to be hungry to make it and that's what the losses are there to help with.


Thanks for reading - Fraser "TimeMuffinPhD"

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Melee Mindset: Life and the Game

So this is my first blog post and I would like to begin by saying that none of this is completely objective; this is just theories and experiences I've had when playing Melee that I would like to share, as a way for you to question such concepts yourself.

This blog post will cover how your time outside of the game affects your in-game; and vice-versa. A realisation I've had recently is that pouring all your time into one thing isn't a healthy way to approach something you really enjoy - no matter how much you enjoy it. Sure you might become really adept at said thing, but that's just like going to a casino and putting all your chips on one number; it's all or nothing. To put it into perspective, allocating all your time into practicing Melee with no focus on your career means when you lose, it'll be a horrible loss - all your devotion and hours have been swept away, thus affecting your mindset towards the game. ("Career" is just an example, it could be personal issues you're ignoring as another example.) It's the same the other way around. That's why I want to talk about the idea of balance.

I'm going to refer to 'outside of the game' as 'life' and 'in-game' as 'game' just to simplify things to an extent. The balancing act between life and the game I believe is very crucial in maintaining consistent mindset. What I'm referring too is creating accomplishment and positive feeling for both of these areas. The thing about overcoming a hurdle or achieving something in life for example; is it lifts you up and makes you feel you can do more (think that's called motivation or something), but this then reflects on your game, and vice versa again; they bounce off each other. This can create a repetition of positive mindset from my experience through achieving goals in both your career and your hobby.

I believe this is important because positive mindset is so crucial to performing at your peak. Positive mindset encourages confidence and also brings the best attributes of a person out. 

"Shine spiked by a Fox when under the weather? Maybe you'll tilt after that, or maybe after the tournament you'll start doubting yourself in the Fox match-up?"

 But when you're feeling good - you nod it off. That's that problem instantly gone, and you're also instantly analysing the situation before you - "I shouldn't have jumped that's why I got shine-spiked, I'll watch out for that next time". 

This is just a short post on something I've been thinking about. I'll update if I have anymore thoughts with the topic, this isn't really a complete write-up it's just me trying to get some things down on paper; and maybe get some discussion going.

Thanks for reading - Fraser "TimeMuffinPhD"

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